Parents Just Don't Understand
Number two pencils? Check. Loose-leaf notebook paper? Check. Snazzy backpack? For shizzle. Cell phone? PAUSE.
As a mother of three school age children (three others still in diapers) I knew I would be buried under a mountain of back to school supply lists, uniforms and last minute summer reading reviews but nothing prepared me for the two hour plea from my eleven year old to buy him, dare I say it, a cell phone?.
I have already been deemed the “dino” of the house as I was not on board with the purchase of his game console nor the portable version of it purchased just a year later so it was no surprise to my son that my answer was no. I could not understand.
Why would you need such a thing?
Your lifestyle consists of going to school or being within earshot of me or your father. When would you need it? Regardless of the answer to that question, my answer is still no. As I watched the face get longer and the eyes well up, the whole scene conjured up a vision from the “Parents Just Don’t Understand“ video where Will Smith’s pretend mom shakes her finger rapping” You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show.” My flashback almost had me feeling his pain until he commits the ultimate begging child faux pas,” Everybody else has one mom!”
Aw hell naw! I’m not about to do anything because a bunch of other parents are doing it. You can really forget it now.
As he walked away defeated and dejected I began to soapbox to myself, ” What is the world coming to when children are walking around carrying cell phones?”
“Why on earth is this an expected accessory and not a premature luxury?” I was totally against it and sure of my reasons but feeling way misunderstood and even a bit like a stick in the mud.
As a “brand” new mommy my son has seen me use this little box as a tool for convenience and business so I understood the “grown up” allure but the mere act of him requesting one, suddenly made me see it more like a glass of wine or an “R” rated movie…. ADULTS ONLY.
Even more so with the growing popularity of text bullying, out of control promiscuity and just plain distraction from schoolwork; I muddled over it for a minute. “What parent would seriously open this Pandora’s box?”
I tried to see it from another point of view. Perhaps a parent whose child must walk home alone after school needs a way to track and contact them at all times? Perhaps a parent that no longer shares a residence with their child wants to talk to them without their ex as a mediator?
Maybe it’s just a different time and a cell phone is just like the pair Guess jeans I begged my mom for, coming back to haunt me. I figured of course that every parent has his or her reasons and maybe everything is not so cut and dry.
So after much internal debate and diplomacy in my heart, I got my car keys and drove to the store.
I love my son and he is a responsible, respectful and giving child (at least this is what I told myself on the way there).
Upon returning home and climbing the stairs to his room, I opened the bag and placed it on the bed, and there it was, the great symbol of my compromise — a brand new pair of Guess jeans.
Have a great school year son and climbed the stairs to his room.
Aja Graydon, Kindred The Family Soul is a guest blogger for TBNM.
Ya shoulda bought him a skypager! HAHAHAHAHHA!
Love you girl! XOXO
Miss Kindred, you are too much. Guess Jeans as your compromise! But you are right, if there’s no need for a wireless tether, then a cell phone could be deemed a premature luxury. Everyone’s circumstances are different.
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Thank Goodness a position that I can relate to fully. His appreciation will grow as he matures and even if it doesn’t you’re still right.
Aja,I feel ya here. I don’t know if we had this conversation or not, but my 11 year old ,who shall remain nameless, had been begging for cell phone too. Last week after ghf scare of him being missing …I actually contemplated the phone for a tracking method! But, changed mind after remembering how disractibg and addicting these devices can be. I cringe at the thought that some of the fast little girls might send a steamy text or pic. So maybe when they spend
a little more time away from us we’ll consider it , let’s make a deal no text and no pics!
get him the cell phone and then buy him a membership to a youth performing arts company
and when he joins i want him to end all of his routines with a 30 second dramatic stillness…
I love this story and I commend you for standing your ground. Does he like guess jeans? I’m here to be the devil’s advocate. My 11 yr old son has a cell phone and there have been any naked pics, or steamy text or fast girls tring to call (I have the phone records to prove it). To be honest, when listening to his converstions and reading all his text, they are the most childish things ever. Some dateline, 60 minute or Oprah special told us that our children are all over sexualized and we look for it at all time; well I know I did. Not all of them are. Some are goofy kids who still like to laugh and play like 11 year olds are suppose to. Is it possible that we put the thoughts into their heads because of you expectations? Are we always expecting the worst? To be honest I got the phone because he was spending his first year walking home with his 7 yr old sister and without me; that was last year. The 15 minutes from the school to the house turned out to be like a lifetime when I had no way to reach him. And yeas I hid behind cars and bushes to make sure the first week they made it home safe. Ok two weeks or more, but I thought this independence was important; I need him to know that I trust him and he could trust himself. I don’t want him to be afraid to walk his own block. This year he rides the bus and I’m happy that he calles me when he gets out of school to let me know when they are running late, or if he is extra hungry or just to let me know how his day went. Most times I have to rush him off the phone because he wants to just talk. My favorite story to tell is the first day with his own cell phone my son went to a baseketball game where he held the phone in his hand the entire time (report from the hubbie) and called me over and over again. Just remember that cell phones are not the devil; It will not change a well behaived child and will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you did a great job raising him.