Is there a Dr. in the house?
She is tall, statuesque, beautiful, 45, married for 17 years with a couple of grown kids (respectively 22, 31) and now embracing motherhood a second time around to Leila, almost 4 years old.
This sister needs a medic and a glass of wine stat!
“The newness of being a ‘brand’ new mom has worn off. I truly love my life and baby but I miss making power deals,” says Berenice Mabrey, CEO of Precise Management based in Nashville, TN.
Berenice laughs and says, “It was a gift to give my husband a baby with his DNA — he has been raising mine and now they are all grown up. It’s a dream to watch him with our baby, but can a sister get some cardiac resuscitation and conjure up her former life?
She says there are many times when she is gasping for air and feel like the moment won’t pass. Berenice is not alone in feeling this way — how many of us can honestly say that motherhood is everything you thought especially when your “career brand” is put on serious HOLD UP, and you are in your 40’s? Can you say anxiety?
Sister Berenice, we all feel this way (at some point), so don’t beat up yourself. I applaud you for being honest and authentic. Many of us pretend all is well and its not.
As a BNM, your heart will go racing when you remember how fab your pre-baby life was — no PR spin here – just hang in there.
Remember, this too shall pass and the baby does grow each moment and you will re-define your brand and become smarter than before.
It’s much easier for me now with my kids respectively 5 and 12; but I darn sure remember when I too needed cardiac resuscitation. Who am I kidding … I still have those moments albeit fewer.
Here is what continues to work for many BNMs:
1) Taking routine walks with the baby and breathe
2) Exercise and yoga will save you and reduce stress
3) Daycare/nanny care is imperative – even if its just for 2 -3 hours
4) Do something exclusively for you once a week
5) Sleep every chance you get
6) Make love to your husband and channel that inner sexy
7) Join a support group, ‘cause you are not alone– I love Mocha Moms
8) Wine. That’s good mommy medicine after the kids have gone to bed. No drinking and driving.
9) Pray and pray.
10) Enjoy your gift; many people try to conceive each day.
BNM Note: We do not judge in this space called Brand New Mommy.com. Mothers are not perfect – we are all work in progress … especially us Career Moms on hiatus.
Berenice Mabrey
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This post is real. Berenice, your life will come back — enjoy your baby.
Berenice, I know exactly how you feel. I left the workforce six years ago to become a homemaker. I write from home and would often get anxious that I couldn’t get my writing work done because of taking care of my home and children. Just recently I realized that it’s all my work–the interruptions are a part of my work; it’s new work. This new work is creating more experiences–different experiences–that will contribute to me being a stronger, wiser woman, one who can help others as a mommy, writer from home or whatever else God calls me to do. And, when you return to work, you will probably be making power moves like you never made before. If we can endure the cries, milk-scented and stained clothes, etc. we can do just about anything. Be encouraged.
Thank you so much Karen, Rhonda and Donna! My baby is a fun and exciting addition to our family and I truly enjoy seeing my family grow in love and size. I am encouraged by your comments and have noticed that I have found strength and flexibility that I did not know existed
. My family (Including my BNM family), friends and clients have shown me that I do have a strong support system and that means so much! My family reminded me that I have so much on my plate with new baby, family and business and I know that I am truly blessed.
I will continue to follow your great advice and trust that this will only make me stronger!
Thank you again!
Berenice Mabrey-Ojo (Bernie)
I am so pleased that you are happy with the post. Bernie, I admire your courage and authenticity. Love ya.
Rhonda, thanks so much for your response to Bernie’s post. Congrats on your renewed passion. Please continue to stop by at TBNM. Happy Holidays!
As 4 month member of the BNM family I’m just trying to learn how to balance it all. I feel blessed that GOD gave us a beautiful boy and confident that he will guide me to have the family and career that I want as long as I remember to keep him first. I thank you for your post and am so happy to have found this blog. I’ve loved Karen’s work since meeting you at all the BPRS stuff and I’m glad to see you flurishing.
Thanks again,
Raschanda Hall
Raschanda,
Thanks so much for the love and support for the BNM. Congrats on your baby boy and I know that it’s not easy to balance all this good stuff. Take a deep breath and enjoy. Much Love, KTB
Hey Auntie, you are doing such a good job that a medic and a glass of wine won’t do you any good. Luv u