Why Friends Change with Motherhood?
Finding a new circle
As I get older I sincerely believe the old adage that everything and everyone has a season and nothing underscores that more than motherhood and friendship.
Friendships change simply because your needs have changed – it’s not your fault, just life.
When a mom talks about fatigue and shuttling kids back and forth to a swim meet – moms get it (instantly). We go into thankful prayer and say – “Thank you God for letting me know I’m not alone.”
Four years ago, I had a falling out with a dear friend and it hurt like a man stole my money and left me for dead. It was hard to comprehend the end of a friendship at that moment, all I knew was my heart was broken – we shared everything until I became a mom.
Yes – words were exchanged, things said were probably real wack on my part (since I was going through PPD), and at that moment I felt like I would never get over the ending of the friendship. Guess what? I did.
Now I have a group of supportive mothers and sisters in my circle that share authentically my world of chaos, drama, stress, love, struggle, reinvention and excitement.
The days of being carefree are gone for now; it’s the PTA, after-school activities, marriage/relationship, career issues, and ‘me’ time who has the energy for casual friendships?
This past Saturday, I went to the movies with my Mocha Moms, a support group for mothers of color. It was just us savoring a few hours of leaving the house and being simply “Karen,” “Rita,” “Shannon,” “Jay,” “Cheryl” and “Diane” – simply a person and not so and so mom.
Remember, your friendship does change with motherhood, however, it does get better when you find the right circle that fits like a good bra.
If you are in the Queens/Long Island area come join us at our Mocha Moms Membership Meet up. Click here for more information.
How has your friendship changed with motherhood?
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Karen you hit it. I too have had to re-evaluate my life long friendships. And it seems still they just don’t get it. Mocha Moms has definitely had a huge impact on me being a mother and well…being me.
DianeChristina, thank you for the comment and being my Mocha Mom. Love and appreciate ya!
I agree with you 100%, we must not only come to understand that relationships change because we’re always ( prayerfully ) growing and changing. We must acknowelgde and understand that we are given what we need, and who we need to help us through our current issue as we grow. I’ve also learned that a person who is truly your friend will always measure you by the good in you and not by your current situation.